crps247 Complex Regional Pain Syndrome
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A New Silence

29/9/2021

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Picture'Lockdown in Winter' acrylic on canvas

I was up the top of a small nearby mountain last year during the first lockdown (no I didn’t have a miracle and climb there, we drove) and as we sat and reflected on life from above I noticed how quiet it was, there were no man made sounds, just the birds and the wind and the sound of silence. There were hardly any cars on the roads far below and it was as if time stood still.
 
It was 2020, the year the world as we knew it changed dramatically. With Covid-19 came lockdowns and suddenly the people around me were stuck at home, unable to visit friends or family, unable to eat out or travel - all the things I had adapted to rarely doing during the last 11 years of living with CRPS. The lockdown restrictions were my norm, as a result I was probably better prepared than most people.
 
2021 and the pandemic and flash lockdowns continue, I no longer need to try and explain why I can’t accept invitations because there are none, most doctors’ appointments are by tele health so unless I required a face to face consultation I don’t have to make the huge effort to get to the clinic which often results in increased pain levels.
 
I listen and observe how the pandemic affects my friends, there’s lots of depression and heart break, I try to keep in touch but it takes a huge effort because my inclination lately is to retreat into my own small world.
 
Alongside the pandemic my CRPS persists with the same ups and downs and I wonder how all the other CRPS people out there are doing. I continue to spend many hours in my studio, I feel fortunate to have art as a lifeline.
 
I still believe that every day is a gift despite all the horrid things worldwide that threaten to consume us, but accepting the things happening beyond our control is never easy.

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The Night I Lost The Plot

10/3/2020

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'Stranded' pen and ink drawing by Rosemary Eagle
Last night I kind of lost the plot in the coping department. I did everything wrong before eventually finding the right gear to cope with the onset of an unbelievably bad pain flare.
 
The pain started with the usual unexpected massive shooting pain followed by a series of intense throbbing pains that told me there was a man in my foot with a jack hammer directly on top of a nerve.
 
We were watching a TV series called Stateless and it was just at a critical part of the film where some refugees were running after the men in a van who had duped them into handing over money and their passports with the promise of a boat to Australia; there was no boat, suddenly I yelled out as the shooting pain jolted me. My family knew what was happening and the TV was immediately turned off as everyone’s attention was on me and my attention was 100% on the pain, this is what severe pain does, it hijacks your attention and interrupts good films.
 
 I went into full on fear and flight mode, I simply could not muster any composure.
 I cried, I shook, I screamed out with every pain, I groaned, I blew my nose and went through copious tissues while my husband and daughter stood around me feeling helpless; my heat pack was reheated, dry biscuits were brought to eat with some medications.
 
Eventually eleven years of experience and self-education in coping with pain flares kicked in a little; I reprogrammed my spinal cord stimulator to run two programs simultaneously, full bore, I dosed up on everything I safely could - Panadeine forte, double my usual Endept dose (as advised by my doctor). None of these measures would stop the pain but they might help me through the night, even a tiny reduction in my pain levels would help. I sat up in bed surrounded by pillows and multiple cushions under and around my foot. I tried to distract myself by talking about other things and then after my family had gone to bed I played games on my iPad and prepared for what could possibly be a long sleepless night.
 
When you are depleted by other stressful events in your life, our coping ability is weakened and I knew this was was happening to me last night. For a while I felt completely out of control, my CRPS was in control and I knew I had to dig deep to get into a better head space. Somehow I survived the night and when the pains slowed down to a couple an hour I even managed a few hours sleep in between. I emerged from my bedroom late in the morning feeling and looking like some sort of shell shocked survivor.
 
Today is a waiting day where I do absolutely nothing except go to the bathroom. I elevate my foot and start writing a new blog. It seems my blogs are often written after or during a pain flare. I need to find a new topic, apologies for the monotony.
 
I am fortunate to have a few best friends in my life and three months ago I made a new friend, he also has CRPS; how easily we relate to others with CRPS, how easily we fall into meaningful conversations, I have several CRPS friends and this really helps me feel less alone.
 
Living with CRPS is living with uncertainty, living without knowing when the pain will take over our lives for a while and drain us of energy but the human spirit is amazing because our powers of recuperation and stamina often surprise us. So today I am waiting to get through this, I have faith that this flare up will eventually level off and the sun will shine again and my head will feel clearer.

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When My World Stops

3/11/2019

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Picture
Monoprint by Rosemary Eagle 2019
It started Friday evening. Suddenly an intense electric shooting pain shot into the depths of my foot and immediately turned into continuous throbbing pain. It scared the hell out of me.
 
These paroxysms of electric shooting pains continued throughout the night, intermittently and always without warning. I fought emotionally to stay strong, to breathe through them and not go into a state of panic. I tried to sleep but the pain was so powerful it would jolt me awake.
 
By Saturday morning the pains became continuous, shooting and throbbing pains every few seconds adding up to hundreds every hour.  Any movement made it worse/ unbearable, any sudden noise made it worse. Resting on my bed didn’t stop it; sitting still, watching TV, playing games on the iPad didn’t stop it. My foot and lower leg had turned permanently deep red, not unlike the colour of beetroot, my foot felt like it was burning.
 
Saturday evening I managed to eat some tea that John had cooked, he takes over the cooking when I am like this, he put my plate on a small table next to where I was sitting and he brought over the salt and a serviette, just like in a little cafe.  Eating tea helped a bit, it was a good distraction and it also got me thinking that in my own way I was actually pushing through the pain, not by walking which would have been impossible, but by pushing through the pain in order to function.  Eating, going to the bathroom etc all required a conscious continuous effort to not panic and give in to the pain. By concentrating on eating my meal despite the pain I was telling it that it was not that important, thereby hopefully contributing to calming my sympathetic nervous system.
 
So my body jumps a little, sometimes a lot, with each pain. My face grimaces and I groan, occasionally I do the deep breathing technique of alternative nostril breathing, it can help to stop me panicking. The pain continued all night without letting up and I became tired and exhausted.
 
It’s hard to explain what a pain flare is really like to other people and most of the time I don't even bother but I often wonder what people really think because I look so well I've been told and on a good day I can even look terrific apparently! Most days I make an effort to look my best as it makes me feel better about my changed life with all its complexities.
 
Some days my small world stops, Friday was such a day. All the things that sustain me wait. My studio is locked, blinds down, waiting. My scooter is covered and plugged in, waiting. If you are a reader with CRPS and you are experiencing a bad pain flare, we can wait together because eventually the pain flare will settle, it may be a matter of days or weeks but better days will come our way.  If you are a carer/ family member take comfort that my carer is also waiting and feeling anxious, I see him watching the monster attacking me, I see his helplessness and wish things were different. So we all wait together.
 
November 4th is CRPS awareness day throughout the world, CRPS continues to make life hell at times and we need a cure, we need more research and more effective and accessible treatments, we need this pain to be taken seriously and be acknowledged for the impact it has on so many people.

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Since When Was CRPS Predictable!

28/4/2019

 
Picture
'Medical Overload' mixed media on birchwood panel 50 x 50cm
CRPS is not static; meaning it can vacillate from calm to horrendous within seconds, without warning and often without any logical explanation as to why.
 
During pain flares I remind myself that this will not last and there will be low pain or no pain days again in the future. I read the same reminder written by another CRPS person when during a bad night a few months ago I was searching for comfort online. It helps to hear it from someone else.
 
Three years ago I managed to walk a few steps without crutches, this happened during one of my Ketamine infusions and was a miracle, I have videos of me walking without crutches in hospital and then from one end of the kitchen to the other. I was able to continue this walking for many months and even wrote a blog post about it, however it all came to an abrupt end with the onset of the worst pain flare I have ever had, I wrote a blog about that too! It seems impossible now because I can’t do these walks anymore without setting off massive pain. I have periods of low pain when I can manage a couple steps and then everything changes and suddenly I am rock bottom with a foot full of allodynia and shooting pains at the slightest weight bearing attempt. During these down times I know I have to be patient and work with the pain not against it, I have to keep trying to do a little more each day to get back to at least two feet and two crutches again. During a pain flare I dread going to bed because the shooting pains always get me just as I am about to go to sleep, BOOM a 10/10 shooting pain, and another, then nothing until maybe 5.30 am when one wakes me up with a vengeance.
 
 It is hard to accept all the uncertainty that comes with CRPS and I am now missing not just my old self before CRPS but the self that managed to walk a little 3 years ago; I wanted more, I wanted to be walking a little without crutches every day, forever! I set my expectations too high and have been berating myself ever since at my ‘failures’. That has been a big mistake because it is not something I can control or need to feel guilty about. At the time I was so excited and even now people keep asking “are you still walking”. It’s hard to explain the overall unpredictability of CRPS when I don’t really have the answers.
 
 Every so often CRPS and other medical experiences become the main subject of my art and I am fortunate to be able to express my feelings (and confusion) in some of my artworks. These are usually very personal works full of symbolism; lines twisting through the paintings are my SCS (spinal cord stimulator) wires, these become pathways leading to dead ends as I search for a way out and there is often writing within the picture. Medical Overload was painted last year following the diagnosis of a melanoma and wide excision plastic surgery on my cheek, as well as numerous other medical procedures and appointments requiring trips to larger cities and hospitals. And of course there are always the other dramas that thread through out day to day lives and impact our strength.
 
What a dismal blog this is sounding! I have made several false starts to write a new blog post this year but the drafts just sat on my desk waiting inspiration and energy that I couldn’t find, then a CRPS friend commented to me that I had not posted a blog for a while and this reminded me that there are still a few people who actually still read my blog. So here it is, I can’t endlessly be an inspiring person, sometimes a blog just needs to tell it as it is.

The Grief Thing

12/10/2018

 
Picture
Lake Wendouree in winter 2018
On Monday we had to make a two hour round trip to Ballarat to see one of my specialists. We ate a cut lunch in the car overlooking Lake Wendouree, a beautiful lake in the centre of the city. I watched people walking along the footpaths around the lake, every time I looked up there were more people walking, people walking more than the few steps I can occasionally manage before massive electric shooting pains grind me to a halt.
 
People were walking their dogs or pushing children in strollers or walking next to children riding little bikes and wearing helmets designed to look like monsters or dinosaurs. On Monday I simply didn’t have the energy or heart to do the scooter unload thing to go for a ride along the lake foreshore because I knew  John would have to do it again an hour later to get into the doctors rooms, I knew he really didn’t want to be driving to Ballarat on that day either.
 
Watching others living their lives, doing all the things I used to do still induces terrible grief at times, I thought I would be over the grief thing by now in my eleventh year of crps and using crutches and wheelchairs. I thought I would not keep feeling so bad when I watch others leading normal lives but at times I feel like life is passing me by. Sometimes outings unhinge me for a while and I lose track of what is important in my life.
 
 
So the grieving never stops, grief is just part of who I am now but I thought I would be better at not dwelling on it too much, at not feeling so envious of other people’s mobility and independence but I’m not doing very well in this area. Grief fluctuates and sometimes I feel it more intensely and other times it takes a back seat.
 
In order to move forward into a more positive mindset the advice in the following quote always helps as it relates beautifully to my CRPS and the resulting disability:
 
“My advice to other disabled people would be, concentrate on things your disability doesn't prevent you doing well, and don't regret the things it interferes with. Don't be disabled in spirit as well as physically” Stephen Hawking
 
So I will busy myself with some experimental artwork, have some fun in my studio, watch something funny on Netflix in the evening, lighten my mood and get my mind into another zone while I remind myself that every day is a gift regardless of all the hell rides CRPS throws at me.
 


Seven Days and the Bright Light

25/4/2018

 
Picture
Early morning from room 507 Epworth Geelong

Ketamine infusion time again and the pain management ward is full, overflowing with patients carrying around their little sling bags of portable pumps. This morning six of us sit in a room attending the physiotherapy information session, it is 9am, day two.  Intermittently a couple of pump packs omit beeps that tell us they are about to run out, nobody worries too much about this, we are all experienced pain patients.
 
The physiotherapist talks about what the various infusions actually do in scientific terms, how the Ketamine dampens down the NMDA pain receptors, these are the demons that keep getting it all wrong and fire massive pain signals that can make our lives hell; the Lignocaine works differently, I don’t remember the explanation, my mind must have wondered at that point.
 
The physiotherapist knows a lot about pain and is passionate about her job, she understands that some of us need to squirm and wriggle, stand and stretch occasionally to help us deal with being there. She talks about depression, most of us are depressed because of our pain, the losses and grief that comes with it; what a sad bunch we are.
 
I return to my room on level 5, it is always strange to be in hospital for a week, it is as if I lead two lives, one of them secret.  My Ketamine dose is raised and after lunch I lose my glasses, I start looking for them, Oh, they are on my head! Blame the Ketamine, time for a short sleep to let my body adjust to the increased dose and regain some clarity. They have a ‘do not disturb’ sign they can put on your door if you want to sleep, a bit like being in a hotel really, except at Epworth hospital it is their policy to sneak into your room every hour to make sure you are still alive!
 
The days move along and on Friday, day 5, there is a psychology session about stress and anxiety and of course its effect on pain. There are only two other patients attending so it is an intimate group, we share snippets of our lives and the psychologist has some good ideas that we discuss. There is a box of tissues centre stage as we are all holding back strong emotions that are easily triggered into tears. Afterwards I suggest we have a coffee in the hospital cafe down stairs and for an hour we sit and share bits of ourselves as if we are close friends and have known each other for many years, it is a special time.
 
Sunday is here, today I will be disconnected from my Ketamine pump and go home and sleep to catch up on the lost hours. I will then depend on the ‘carry over effect’ of the infusion which is rarely as effective as when It is being fed into my body. This week I have been able to walk a few steps without crutches, get around more easily and experience what it used to be like when I was an able bodied person; this feels so empowering, if only it could be like this again always ‘I wish’.
 
The sun rose this morning at 6.55 but a thick fog obscured most of it, maybe this fogginess is symbolic of how I feel; a little empty, a bit lethargic, I start thinking of how I can translate these feelings into some new art when I am home, I think the colours will be muted, there will be soft lines threading across the paper, signs of the never ending cycle of life and the forces of the elements, nature and change. There will be some sort of bright light breaking through the fog because eventually it always does.

Picture
'Monuments' rise out of the fog, early morning, level 5 Epworth Geelong
Picture
Early morning, level 5 Epworth Geelong

The ‘Anniversary’

28/1/2018

 
Picture
Arriving for a week at Epworth Geelong with my husband and carer John
I had my three monthly Ketamine infusion last week and after settling into my room I was rather surprised to find myself sitting on the bed crying- what the heck I thought, where did this come from? So I searched for the reasons. I was in a safe place where the Ketamine would lower my pain levels and there would be no outside pressures or demands, so some of the tears were about relief. I was also sleep deprived and had only slept for three hours the previous night and knew I would be woken up for observation checks every two to four hours that night, so part of my crying was about running out of stamina. When one of my favourite nurses arranged for me to not be woken for 6 hours, I burst out crying again- tears of relief. My pain management doctor says crying is all part of having CRPS, but so often I thought?
 
Last December saw me reach the ten year mark since the first operation and the subsequent onset of CRPS, although at the time I was blissfully unaware of my future and thought I was going to get better. Ten years sounds like such a long time and I have some new emotions occurring as a result of this ‘anniversary. I am feeling a bit depressed (comes with the CRPS like crying!), I feel tired (meaning I am tired of the pain), and I want a break from it all.
 
 It is hard work getting through each day and night, never knowing when a pain flare will happen, and trying to find a balance between doing too much or too little. My social life is extremely restricted and I was seriously considering pausing Facebook because I find it hard seeing photos of all the wonderful things others are doing that I can’t do, yet it also keeps me in touch with some of my special CRPS friends and nurses as well as any births, deaths, weddings (seems that social media posts are often the only way we find out someone had died!), so I won’t give up Facebook, maybe I will just do a bit less of it, unfollow a few people and work on the acceptance thing a bit harder. 
 
So ten years on life with CRPS continues and despite the horrific pain flares I am still alive, CRPS doesn’t kill (however it can lead to suicide - DON’T !) although it feels like I am dying at times, the toll it takes on your body and mind can’t be good. Despite the pain and all the negatives relating to it I am still glad to be alive and I live for the periods of low pain and the many hours spent in my studio overlooking our courtyard garden.
 
I continue to appreciate and be enriched by the simplest things in life such as the wonderful delivery people who walk around to the back of the house to deliver parcels straight to my studio door, the internet shopping that makes the parcels possible, the warm summer mornings before the heat sets in when I can go into the garden and breathe the fresh air and smell the lavender, and last week there were the stunning sunrises that I could watch from my hospital room at Epworth Geelong. Every day is a gift.


Working Towards Better Doctors: What is Being Done?

11/9/2017

 
Picture
I am a fairly private person or rather I used to be, but it all seems to have changed since publishing this site over 4 years ago. A few opportunities have come my way that probably would not have otherwise happened.

One of these opportunities occurred last year in February. I did not write about it at time as I did not want to be seen as blowing my own trumpet but due to the increasing number of CRPS patients I read about having bad experiences with doctors who are not educated in CRPS and often lacking in empathy I have decide to write about last year’s experience as a patient pain ambassador at the Faculty of Pain Medicine at ANZCA (Australian and New Zealand College of Anaesthetists) in Melbourne.

 Thanks to my doctors’ faith in me to not only turn up but give it my best shot I found myself sitting in front of a room full of doctors who were attending a weekend clinical skills training session, a preliminary to commencing 2 years training to become pain management specialists.

 I had 2 anxieties, firstly ‘what if I went into a massive flare and could not think?’, secondly ‘what if I was so nervous I could not speak and froze?’ Fortunately neither of these things happened and I had no trouble finding my voice!

So what was discussed? Empathy featured strongly and I had read about this topic following a link sent to me by my doctors. When asked if I had any thoughts about empathy I said I believed it was something that you felt deeply inside with the heart and also that it was something you could run out of. The course incorporated a section that covered the need for doctors to prevent burn out and how to look after themselves.

 I was also able to talk about my bad experiences from a bullying doctor and my vulnerability at the time; how in order to be taken seriously by doctors in the past I had learnt to hide my emotions so I would not be judged as an ‘hysterical woman’ and my pain would be believed. Then through my art that was projected onto a large screen I was able to illustrate what my shooting pains felt like to me and the deep physical impact of these pains when severe. Through some of my paintings and drawings I was able to show how I visualise my world, how in my own personal universe severe pain is ever-present, lurking somewhere ready to strike at any moment.

 The end of the session was all a bit a blur, my husband/carer John and I were invited to share a buffet lunch, my doctors seemed pleased with the discussion and I was thanked by many of those in the audience. Upon reflection I believe that from what I read in the weekend curriculum for the course that the general direction of the training is going to produce more empathetic and knowledgeable doctors who recognise the importance of strong doctor patient relationships. We can only hope this is the case and that more of these graduates make their way into the public system to help those who have no choice.

Magic Cures

28/5/2017

 
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Chantelle Baxter's CRPS Battle is the title of a recent article in The Age, April 17th 2017
http://www.theage.com.au/victoria/someone-was-melting-the-bones-inside-my-legs-chantelle-baxter-battles-rare-disease-20170416-gvly65.html
Since this article was published and found its way into the social media, I have lost count of how many well-meaning friends and acquaintances have emailed me asking if I had seen it and if any of the treatments written about in this article could be relevant to me. Today I am not long home after a week in hospital having a Ketamine infusion, I am tired and I would rather be in my studio drawing than writing about the article in the Age and Chantelle Baxter’s Blog
https://www.facebook.com/notes/chantelle-baxter/ive-just-been-diagnosed-with-a-rare-progressive-neurological-disorder-nicknamed-/10154169801376621/
where she states how much better off she is being treated in the USA compared to Australia.
“The lucky part is that I’m in the US, so there are more treatment options here. I couldn’t even get a diagnosis in Australia after 1.5 months of searching – yet a US doctor diagnosed me within a week. In Australia your options are limited to a shit tonne of drugs, nerve blocks and ketamine infusions.
If there IS a place to get CRPS, it’s here. I’ve tried two non invasive treatments at the moment (still in the middle of my second one) – and my next stop (on my medical tour of the world) will be Italy – where we’re trying a drug called Neridronate Acid. They’ve used it to treat CRPS there for years. Just has a few potentially major side effects like ‘osteonecrosis of the jaw’ – AKA DEATH TO YOUR JAW BONE. And getting the infusions is apparently a little visit to hell for 2 weeks because of all the side effects.
But for many people it gives long term relief – some even get remission!”

Let’s get a few facts straight:
Getting a diagnosis is not easy in any country, it largely depends on your symptoms and finding a pain management specialist who is knowledgeable about CRPS. I was not diagnosed for 4 years but once I sourced a good pain management specialist I did not look back in terms of being in a much better place mentally and physically. Anyone fortunate enough to have private insurance health insurance in Australia has access to some of the world’s best pain management specialists and currently effective treatments.  You can, if CRPS is diagnosed and treated early, go into remission in Australia without having to travel to the US!
Yes the pain is indescribable, it takes over your life. I have had suicidal thoughts in the early years before finding the right pain management specialist and other professionals knowledgeable about CRPS. Whatever country you are in there is no proven single medical treatment that will ‘cure’ CRPS and it is a well-established fact that treatments need to include a combination of therapies. For me it is my spinal cord stimulator -neuromodulation (Ms Baxter fails to mention neuromodulation to the short list of therapies available in Australia), regular Ketamine infusions, physiotherapy, occupational therapy and psychologists when needed; my small support group of others with CRPS is also invaluable. I know of no one who has been ‘cured’ of CRPS but I do know a few people who have gone into remission following early diagnosis and treatment.

Neridronate Acid. Is this the cure for CRPS?

http://www.blbchronicpain.co.uk/news/is-this-the-cure-for-crps/
17th October 2016 | Written by Libby Parfitt
If you are interested in finding about more about the realities of this new drug that is still undergoing clinical trials the link above will take you to an excellent common sense article that discusses the realities and limitations of this new drug. Here is are two excerpts from this article written by Libby Parfitt:
“Secondly, that startling study, the one with the 100% success rate? Well, that only included patients who were in their first few months of CRPS, and it only looked at those with CRPS type 1. In this type of CRPS there is no discernible injury to the nerve. If you have a nerve injury and develop CRPS, it is classed as type 2.”
“Sadly though, I don’t think it’s a total cure for CRPS just yet. For anyone in the first few months of CRPS Type 1 with significant disposable income, get on the phone to Italy right now. However, if you’re in the early stages you have a pretty good chance of remission anyway. And more crucially, most of us don’t get diagnosed in the first few months. CRPS is rare and largely unknown and most go through a long period of ruling out other causes for the pain before anyone even mentions this disease to them.”

 It is interesting how sensationalist claims of a cure in the news can go a long way to distorting the truth and compelling me to spend my morning justifying why my pain management and I are very much on top of the latest widely publicised treatments and ‘cures’ including medical cannabis.
Like all professions there are good and bad in all areas of medicine and this is a reality not just in Australia but worldwide. I am fortunate to have found one of the best pain management clinics in the country www.painmatrix.com.au

Despite my scepticism about the latest ‘magic cures’ it will be interesting to follow up on the various people who have travelled overseas for treatments and I hope they find some relief from this life altering disease, we are all on the same road when it comes to hope and being prepared to go to great lengths to find relief.

Taking Ownership of Your Pain

27/3/2017

 
PictureStormy Day -The Grampians from One Tree Hill



‘Taking ownership of your pain’. I read this expression in a forum post on the new Chronic Pain Team website and it got me thinking. About 6 years ago I was not coping with my pain and in a bad place mentally, I did not know how to keep living like I was and had reached a stage where I needed to make a decision, I knew things could not continue the way they were. At this point in time I had not been officially diagnosed with CRPS and therefore I was not receiving any useful treatment for my pain and in fact believed nothing existed that could help me, I was ignorant about neuromodulation and Ketamine infusions, these came later. Apart from the support of my husband I was on my own to find a way to keep living with my pain.

What I did was very simple- I developed my coping list of strategies and prepared to meet my pain flares head on.

Reflecting on this period of my CRPS journey where I was not receiving any treatment I realise that it actually served a hidden benefit: I learnt to take ownership of my pain and I became a survivor of each pain flare on my own. So when help finally came my way I was absolutely blown away that there was something on offer that could help and when I finally got my spinal cord stimulator I was even more amazed, I took nothing for granted. And then when I had my first Ketamine infusion and it took all the pain away I was even more surprised.

However, ultimately the medical profession can only do so much and there are bad periods where I still have to ‘do it on my own’. So I celebrate surviving this wretched disease for over 9 years and am grateful for all the help, care and support I am now receiving.

I think that taking ownership of your pain is an essential part of living with crps, you become the manager of your pain. Yesterday, despite some bad pain last week, I was invited to go for a short drive to the top of One Tree Hill (doesn’t every county town have one!) to do some sketching and take in the view of the rather stormy weather from a great height. It was an outing I needed to do, it did not involve a medical appointment but it did involve a small risk of flaring my pain but I decided I must take this risk and do something to lift my spirits. The stormy sky was stunning in the distance as it moved across the Grampians ranges from one end to the other; it was beautiful to be up so high looking down on the world. It was a reminder that there is a life to be lived despite my physical limitations and that I need to make more of what is at my door step and not set my sites too high when I am feeling depleted.


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    Rosemary Eagle
    I am an artist www.rosemaryeagle.com
    I also have CRPS. The life of CRPS pain & disability and my life as an artist are intrinsically entwined
    . I look forward to your feedback and comments.
    Rosemary Eagle

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